happy and sad

Happy and sad?

A surprise invitation from my friend to catch a new movie. I was delighted and accepted her kind offer. Never thought that she would ask me to go out with her anyway.

I always wonder why she always look so cheerful and happy and so I can't resist the chance to ask her. She was surprised by my question coz many her colleagues told her that she looks a bit scary when she is at work. (I do agree with her colleagues to a certain extent though...)

I laughed. I envied her.

And so we turned the discussion to the happiness of our life. Chilling out with friends perhaps brought most of the happiness to our life.

I don't remember when was I was truly happy. The memory was so fuzzy....

Now I remember. It was seeing her beautiful and cheerful smile that brings peace and happiness to my heart...

I want to tell her how wonderful she is but...

Thinking of her beautiful smile makes me feel awfully guilty... Reading my entries in this blog make me realize that my girlfriend and I have drifted apart largely of my own fault... Love has somehow evaporated into a distant memory... I feel sad, angry and guilty of failing to keeping my promise to her that I will love her dearly...