And so we have a talk last night...

Our conclusion was 3 years is too far from now and everything can change at the last moment.

Maybe I can go to her home town and start a new life over there to look for a job and get settle down. But I very much doubt that will happen. Not that I don't love her but I found it difficult to live in a place where my previous experience told me that I don't like it too much and there's not much I can accomplish in that place. I understand that that's the place where my love one can thrive on her career and she can take care of her aging mum. Not that I have much ambition. I just want to do something useful in my life that can contribute no matter how small to the mankind but her country is not a place that offer something that aligns with my interest. Not a place that I think can change in 3 years time.

I am sad.

I don't want her to sacrifice her now fledging career and leave her family behind so that we can live together. I don't like to be forced and I never like to force someone to do thing that I want. A rational decision is perhaps that we should not continue this relationship. I don't want 3 years down the road then we decide to make the same hard choice. Everyone's time is precious. We are no longer young. I would rather she finds a better man she deserves so much.

Love is not rational, or is it?